幽默带来悟力和宽容，冷嘲则带来深刻而不友善的理解。以下内容是金笔头网为您带来的5篇《英语幽默小短文欣赏》，希望朋友们参阅后能够文思泉涌。
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.At the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more,uttering."Trust me,Sir,and trust the money.They are real US dollars.They are directly from America."
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
一位职业猎人带着妻子和岳母一块去游猎。一个傍晚，丛林深处，夫人突然发现母亲不见了。她坚持两个人都要努力去找到母亲。
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
猎人拿起了他的来福，喝了一大口威士忌，开始找人。在营地不远处，他们看到了一个令人震惊的地方：岳母背对着一大丛灌木，一只雄狮正看着她。
The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
夫人哭道：“我们该怎么办？”
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
“没什么”，猎人丈夫说道，“狮子自己走进这么乱的地方的，让他自己出来吧。”
My teen-age son，Chad，and nine of his friends came home one night with newly pierced ears. When his grandmother heard about it，she asked him why he did it.”Peer
pressure," Chad told her.
一天晚上，我十几岁的儿子查理，带着九个朋友回到家，他们都扎了耳朵眼儿。当儿子的奶奶听说了这件事时，她问我儿子为什么要这样做，查理告诉她:“是同辈的压力。”
"You should be a leader instead of a follower，”Grandma said.
奶奶说：“你应该做个领头的，”
"I was,"he replied. "It was my idea.”
“我是个领头的。”他回答说：“这是我的主意。”
A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.
一只瞎眼的兔子和一只瞎眼的蛇相遇了。它们俩都知道自己是什么动物，但不知道对方是什么，于是它们都决定试试对方
The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.
兔子说：“你先摸摸我。”蛇同意了，它摸了一下兔子。
He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet.。."
蛇说：“额，你全身都有皮毛，有一个小棉球似的尾巴，耳朵很长，后腿很粗壮…”
The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake.
兔子说，“我知道！我是只兔子！耶！”然后兔子摸了一下蛇。
He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue.。."
兔子说，“好吧，你长长的细细的，全身都滑溜溜的，还有一根分叉的舌头…”
The snake says, "Oh no! I'm a lawyer."
蛇说：“不！我是个律师”
上面内容就是金笔头网为您整理出来的5篇《英语幽默小短文欣赏》，希望可以启发您的一些写作思路。
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